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Tattoos

For someone with such a keen interest in tattoos, you would think that I'd be sporting at least one or two. Yet, I find myself living vicariously through others, lacking the guts to go ahead and take the plunge myself.

I go through phases. I'll get an overwhelming urge to finally make the commitment and get a tattoo. I'll do all the research, compile sketches and even go as far as meeting with the tattoo artist, only to shy away at the last minute.

I view myself as somewhat of a risk taker. I'm not stupid about it, but I will go out on a limb from time to time. So, it's very strange that I can't take the step when it comes to getting inked.

Yes, my parents would have a fit, when they found out. However, I'm used to their reactions and I know that my mother would start hankering for a little artwork of her own as soon as the initial shock wore off.

My youngest sister has two tattoos. Perhaps my reluctance is partially due to the fact that she absolutely detests one of them. She made a rash decision several years ago. She knew what she wanted when she went into the tattoo parlor and expressed this to the tattoo artist. However, something got lost in translation, and rather than the cute bumblebee that she had in mind, she walked away with a large, dead wasp imprinted in her flesh.

When I'm in the mood, I find myself obsessing about finally getting my first tattoo. I say, my first, because I intend on getting several. In fact, sometimes I almost feel like I have them somehow imprinted inside of me. This is probably because of the amount of time I've spent mulling my ideas over and going through the whole process of getting in the right mindset to finally do it. Why I back out at the last minute continues to elude me.

The first tattoo that I hope to get is a large, 3-D spider, complete with realistic shading and shadowing. I actually found a sample of the exact artwork that I want by a very talented artist in British Columbia. Unfortunately, the detailing is very intricate and the cost of getting this work of art and the time it would take to make it a reality, have not been incentives to my reluctance to commit.

The second tattoo that I have long desired, is a simple sea horse. The lines are clean and no color other than black will be included. This tattoo nearly became a reality. I labored over sketches for hours and finally came up with a nearly perfect rendering. I went to a local shop, recommended by friends, and discussed my idea with the tattoo artist. We agreed that he would take my drawing and use it as a basis for the final artwork. Thankfully, he only put his version on paper and not on my skin, seeing as it had been transformed from a simple, elegant sea horse into a foreboding sea dragon! I cut my losses and never went back, and so this tattoo also went the way of my spider.

The latest tattoo that I've seriously considered is a simple phrase: Save Yourself. This phrase has strong personal and emotional meaning for me. I love the simplicity of the words and how they relate to me and my loved ones on so many different levels. The only misgiving I have is that I might feel obligated to explain the meaning to people when questioned about it. The meaning of the words is not a topic that I would feel comfortable sharing with just anyone, and this of course, feeds into my reluctance to commit to a tattoo, once again.

In the end, I'm quite confident that I will finally make the commitment. When the timing is right and the opportunity presents itself, I too will join the growing society of tattooed individuals. Tattooing my no longer be the hottest trend and perhaps my tattoos will make me blend in, rather than stand out, but my reasons for getting a tattoo are personal and that's the most compelling motivation of all.